Two Amazing Jokes

Today I invented two incredibly great jokes. I own the copyright on these jokes. There's none of that GPL Wikipedia bullshit here. If anyone else tells one of my jokes, I'll sue their arse into the ground.

JOKE NUMBER ONE

Mr Salad Cream suspects his wife, Mrs Salad Cream, of cheating on him. One day he hires Mr Tomato Ketchup as a private investigator, who catches her hand in hand with the mayonnaise! The next day, Mr Salad Cream tells his wife he's divorcing her for cheating on him. She exclaims, "but how did you know?!" He retorts, "I have my sauces."

JOKE NUMBER TWO

Henry was a wheeless caravan, confined all his life to the same boring caravan park. One day someone came and fitted him with wheels. He rolled around happily. One day a new caravan came to the park, and saw Henry rolling around smiling and laughing. He asked, "hey man, what's up with you?" Henry replied: "I'm ex-static!"

Now I know it'll be tempting to copy these, but I implore you to resist tempation. There's nothing less funny than a plagiarised joke. Also I plan on selling these jokes to a humour conglomerate and becoming sensationally rich. So no pinchies.

Permalink || Posted 8/12/2005 by Pete

9 comments »«

  1. Circy - 17/1/2006 - 8:10pm

    You deserve to die for those jokes.

  2. The Natflap - 18/1/2006 - 7:38pm

    I'm already dead inside.

  3. Courtneyy - 20/11/2009 - 2:41pm

    THESEE JOKESSS AREEE AMAZINGLY HILARIOUS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA x

  4. Andy Vale - 27/2/2010 - 1:52pm

    You should get a government grant to write this stuff.

  5. Charlotte - 7/5/2010 - 2:50pm

    best jokes ive found today! HAAAAA! love it!

  6. batdude - 19/8/2010 - 3:43pm

    rubbish jokes, heard a lot better

  7. unknown - 13/10/2010 - 4:58pm

    Crap jokes complete waste of my time :-)

  8. sdfjklø - 9/12/2010 - 9:40am

    The expression "sue their arse into the ground" made me laugh, but the jokes didn't -_-

  9. who cares - 14/12/2010 - 6:13pm

    VVVVVVEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

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