These cartoons will offend Muslims!

You may have noticed the recent uprising of Islamophobia over in mainland Europe and be thinking to yourself, "I sure wish the British press would publish some mildly offensive, poorly drawn cartoons which seem to have the sole purpose of stirring up tension in an already volatile political climate". Well, you need despair no more, for I have created some! It's all under the cunning guise of freedom of speech, a concept which every single Muslim on the planet doesn't understand - it's not just a vocal minority, it really is every single one! I hope Islam is ready for the satirical smackdown I'm about to deliver on its arse.

The Prophet Moohammad!

Behold the Prophet Moohammad! This cheeky little number seeks to imply that the sacred Muslim prophet, who was visited by Allah in a cave and scribed the Qur'an directly from the words of the Almighty, was actually no more than a stupid farmyard animal. Note the cunning play on words: moohammad is phonetically similar to Muhammad, and of course "moo" is the onomatopoeic representation of a stereotypical cow noise. By the way, if you're wondering why I'm not updating so much any more, it's because I'm spending all my waking hours writing headlines for The Sun.

Note also the addition of a turban, the classic Muslim headdress which removes all doubt that the "Muhammad" in question is indeed a Muslim. This cartoon is sure to offend not only Muslims, but also the French, because the French get offended at everything. But I guess it's alright to take the piss out of Islam whilst also getting extremely annoyed at being called "cheese eating surrender monkeys" by the Americans. No double standard there, no-sir! If you thought that cartoon was edgy, this next one will blow your mind.

The Profit Muhammad!

Just when you thought the satire couldn't possibly get any more biting, I spring this masterpiece on you. The Profit Muhammad comes with one lexical pun as standard, as well as a shocking commentary about the Islamic faith at no extra cost! The Profit Muhammad is also designed primarily to offend, with the implication that Muhammed was a profit and not a Prophet. Exactly how is this offensive? Damned if I know, I just make the puns here. He's also got a turban on so I'm obviously being offensive, you fucking idiot.

The Pun Bin

These puns were simply too edgy to make into cartoons. They're listed below for offending purposes only.

That's enough puns for you today, you neo-secular bastards. Here's a list of cool sites you can go to if you're a Muslim who doesn't feel quite offended enough.

As a footnote, you may be wondering just what point I've been trying to make in this blog. I honestly don't know, but I think this whole issue is extremely stupid and everyone involved in it is also stupid.

Permalink || Posted 2/2/2006 by Pete

19 comments »«

  1. Radix - 3/2/2006 - 2:54am

    That's stupid. You're stupid. Stop being stupid, Pete.

  2. Wong - 3/2/2006 - 11:01am

    "Qur'rang!" =D

  3. Naked Steve - 3/2/2006 - 2:51pm

    Pretty cool. Expect death threats in the near future though...

    http://new.petitiononline.com/danmark/petition.html

  4. sir James - 3/2/2006 - 4:35pm

    Brilliant XD

    if you get any mail from angry muslim leaders be sure to post them!

  5. Circy - 4/2/2006 - 3:28pm

    Hate to say it dude, but your site is fucked.

    The bar for the previous post "Blog: Jack Bauer's Power Hour" appears on top of the second Mohammed image for me. Not only that, but the bars often appear on top of the comments links in general.

  6. The Natflap - 4/2/2006 - 7:32pm

    I'll look into it Circy, thanks.

  7. tim - 5/2/2006 - 1:47pm

    you're just adding fuel to the Fajr, pete

  8. Starfi-er, Generic Terrorist - 9/2/2006 - 1:43am

    Stop making your puns or I'll be popping these guns!
    In your face!

    Also, your website works correctly, so I will get my loyal band of brainwashed hackers to deface it. Just so you know I am a Genuine Terrorist, the West shall die! Jihad against American values, etc.

  9. graham - 19/5/2006 - 2:29pm

    GRAHAM IS A FACIST. RAPE HIM OF HIS SINS.TERRORISM SUCKS. SUX. FUCKYOU

  10. Zhaha-sak-pakeal - 20/7/2006 - 8:08pm

    I and my family are very offended by your articel. I put a jihad on you, you crazy son-of-a-bitch.
    Allah is GOD!
    Death to the infidels!

  11. shiz - 10/10/2009 - 3:08pm

    If this is suppose to make you laugh then i really think you need to go back to school and learn how to respect other peopele faith, because this is far from funny. I am a muslim and I would never dream of cursing any of the other religions each to their own. You truly lead a very sad life. I PRAY THAT YOU ARE GUIDED OTHER WISE YOU WILL TRULY BE LOST.

  12. amnah - 4/5/2010 - 12:12pm

    ALLAH ALMIGHTY will really give u a dreadful treatment when u will die... u will c what will happen to u and what has been happening to ur forefarthers in graves...I WISH U CAN C THEM THAT IN WHAT CONDITIONS THEY WOULD BE... but u cant c beacuse u haven;t ever read ALLAH's meagse in HOLY QURAN.BT THIS THE FACT THAT ppl who have died CAN NEVR COME BACK AGAIN..LIFE IS GIVEN ONLY ONCE, AND NOW PPL WHO HAVE DIED WILL OPEN THEIR EYES ON THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT. so b prepared about youur deeds because whatever u do in ds world, you would have to be responsible.have u ever thought that how will you face ALLAH. e.g in ds world, if u r very kind to someone and do gr8 things for them but in the end they dont evn acknowledge you and dont even c u.... u would really be collapsed... now think, ALLAH has given u everything and what are u giving HIM in return...??? rather u are constantly hurting HIM..though HE does not care beacuse HE has HIS lots of lots of followers whom he cares so much... but still HE is granting u with everything u want.... so be nice!!!! u have critized alot muslims by humiliating and other stuff as well.. now accept my criticsm as well...im really shoked ppl have hearts but still they are heartless.u have no idea...and ALLAH is no doubt the LORD of this universe. and this universe in which u live, was only created beacause ALLAH has to send PROPHET MUHAMMAD (PBUH) and HE is the closest and the most dearest PROPHET to ALLAH.so all those ppl who have drawn these images, curse on u.u guys don't have any right to live in this world!!!! beacause it's only created for those who really respect HOLY PROPHET PBUH. NEVER FORGET MY WORDS. N don't you dare say any bad word for my Prophet Muhammad ( P.B.U.H). there are many non-muslims who have been turned into muslims in true meaning.n i wish u become one of them....If you want to be chosen in the list of ppl whom ALLAH has really promised the promise of HEAVEN, u better turn into MUSLIMS and then become MOMIN.so respect HIM..!!! ISLAM is the most authentic religion and HOLY QURAN is the best messge given by ALLAH. i pray that u happen to understand that book..tcr

  13. Zia - 17/5/2010 - 8:08pm

    HMMMM... U REALLY NEED TO BE HANGED TILL DEATH BOY. YOU ARE SUCH A BIG MOTHER FUCKER SON OF A BITCH.. NO WORRIES.. EVERYONE HAS TO DIE.. N UR REALL LIFE WILL BEGIN AFTER DEATH WHEN YOU LL FUCKED HARD IN GRAVE INSHALLAH.. ALLAH O AKBAR.

  14. RANJO - 19/5/2010 - 5:59pm

    RELAX, GO HAVE A LARGE COKE WITH A BLT SANDWICH

  15. yo mama loves ma balls - 12/2/2011 - 2:46pm

    Have respect or have ur head placed in ur pants u cuntttttttttttt. If ur so brave to offend then be brave to say who u r so i can pay ya a vist u pussy lickin bastard lmao

  16. riya - 13/4/2011 - 5:58pm

    u son of a bitch u bastard ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, fu............. urself

  17. zaheer hussain - 17/1/2014 - 2:18pm

    r u mental?

  18. me - 7/5/2014 - 4:22am

    can anyone remove this article? I know you are kafir, shut your mouth up.

  19. The NatfIap - 6/5/2016 - 3:41pm

    I hereby apologise to all muslims.

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