Christmas is BANNED

Daily Mail Special Report

It's official: according to most sensible white people, Political Correctness has gone mad. And not just "mad-as-a-march-hare" mad. Not even "cat-in-a-washing-machine" mad. Political Correctness is David Berkowitz "shooting-prostitutes-and-believing-a-dog-to-be-the-voice-of-Satan" mad. In other words, Political Correctness is on an insanity-fuelled rampage, shooting down innocent English tradition with a .44 calibre pistol loaded with bullets of bureaucracy and multiculturalism. The true victims of this wanton shooting spree are of course the middle classes, now restricted to a life where slavery is no longer legal and people with funny faces have the same rights as everyone else.

In the past week, Political Correctness has shot up on heroin and is now gunning for that most beloved of traditions, Christmas. PC is now as out-of-control as a hyperbolic metaphor involving serial killers, and must be stopped at all costs. Once you read about what Christmas has become, you'll be blue with rage, except you can no longer describe yourself as blue because that is offensive to Smurfs. READ ON TO EXPERIENCE AN EMPTY FEELING OF SELF-RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION.

What with the impending Muslim invasion of Britain looming ever closer, this may well be our last year we can experience Christmas whilst not living under Shariah law, so it would be nice to make the most of it. However, interfering busybody council officials and politicians are still intent on chopping down our traditions as if they were elegant pine saplings in a diminishing forest of British values. In Hull, fairy lights have been banned as they offend gays, whereas officials in Aberdeen have placed restrictions on the sale of tinsel as some Jewish people "don't believe in it". And in perhaps the greatest PC-travesty of the festive season, Torquay's annual Burning of the Coon celebration has been prevented from taking place in the town centre as safety officers branded it a fire hazard.

The PC Brigade are also bombarding our children with insane notions of equality for all and respect of other's beliefs. At Godalming Primary School in Surrey, the annual Nativity play featured an Arab child playing Jesus and black children as the shepherds in a laughably unrealistic rewriting of the classic story. Furthermore, the Angel Gabriel had Down's syndrome and the Virgin Mary was genuinely pregnant. Parents at the school all agreed that the play tore up all the traditions of Christmas as we know and replaced them with a "complete travesty". "They may as well have called it a Naivety Play," commented an angry yet witty mother.

Santa Source:

He has a beard, judges our children on an antiquated set of values and tries to convince us to change our attitudes... is Santa a Muslim fundamentalist?

More and more employers are banning Christmas in the workplace. Their official reason is that it makes employees less productive and that garish decorations are distracting and hideous. But scratch below the surface with fallacious conjecture, and you find the true reason for the ban: employers do not want to offend Muslims for fear of suicide bombing reprisals. Political Correctness is destroying the workplace... how long until it destroys our homes? The answer is 'not very long'; with some pundits speculating that our homes will be destroyed in a matter of weeks.

Political Correctness is truly insane. But whilst the original Son of Sam was caught and put to justice, Political Correctness is a new menace: one without any real individuals to vilify. How can we ever hope to curb the tide of Political Correctness as it engulfs our own traditions and way of life? How can we keep Christmas a Christian celebration of the birth of Christ as it always has been? The answer to these rhetorical questions is simple: kick the Muslims out, make sodomy illegal and reintroduce slavery. Only then will we be able to say "Merry Christmas" and actually mean it.

Permalink || Posted 6/12/2006 by Pete


  1. Ian - 7/12/2006 - 1:14pm

    Hahahaha, I love it! Great stuff.

  2. tim - 9/12/2006 - 1:28pm

    God Save The Queen

  3. Mrs Bigley - 9/12/2006 - 11:39pm

    I'm so glad they killed my Ken. He wouldn't like the way this country is now. It makes me sick too. I wish they'd cut my head off.

Add a comment

captcha image
Please Wait